Scene: Pizza Parlor, New York, 4 AM

By: Joey

I am proud. More specifically I am prideful about who I am. Sometimes that can come off as being defensive and/or preachy which isn’t my intention. I am a bisexual man, and this is a little about some of my experiences.

Being bisexual can be confusing a lot of the time, especially in the beginning stages of understanding your sexuality. I try to take my experiences and use them to educate others on this subject because if it’s confusing to me then I’m sure others who don’t, won’t, or haven’t experienced it would also have a difficult time understanding it.

When I interact with new people I’ve met, I have a tendency to inform them that I’m Bi- like when I told you that I’m bisexual just a couple seconds ago. Sometimes, in certain situations, that is met with criticism. One such occasion happened recently when the TSD team took a trip to New York City. We were sitting at a pizza place and struck up a conversation with another late night pizza patron- a common scene at four in the morning in New York. “Somehow” the subject of my sexuality came up and when this happened, the man, who happened to be gay, told me that I needed to give myself two years in a big city and get my life figured out.

I’m used to hearing things like this from people who may not understand; after a while it has become easier to handle. Interactions like that one still make me wonder though- why would someone feel the need to make a comment like that?

Time after time, I’ve had society tell me, “This is the way to be straight,” and I’ve had a whole other community tell me “This is the way to be gay,” while all the while I’ve just wanted to be me. Through it all I’ve had to teach myself how to be bi and stay true to myself- a lesson more universal than any community might claim. Basically, I’ve been told I had to choose between vanilla or chocolate ice creams when all I’ve really wanted was strawberry.

Bisexuality isn’t a cop-out. Many times, people in the process of coming out mis-identify themselves as such because they view it as an easier avenue, leaving others with hope for change. For people who identify fully as bisexual, this isn’t the case. It’s not a stopping off point along the journey, it’s an honest identity of knowing what we like and being truthful about it. We’re not greedy, indecisive, confused attention seekers- all terms used to degrade my sexuality. I may have had those moments of confusion, but finally for the first time in my life, without two years in a big city to help sort it out, I’ve never seen more clearly in who I am and I’m happy with that.

If you feel like there’s something that you don’t agree with then I encourage you to not tear someone down for believing differently. Instead just try to understand why they feel that way and see the perspective from a different point of view. Whether that subject be sexuality, television, music or politics….

On second thought, stay away from politics. That can be messy.

Leave a Reply